The Red is the colour of my life

Why are the traffic lights of my life always red? 

 

Even when I want to go, yellow stops me, in the moment, and doesn’t let me move an inch.

 

 I stand, I expect, hope exists, but is fading away.

 

I’m not going back where I’ve been, I want to go, go forward.

 

 But the green light does not come on. 

 

Is it a sign? 

 

Do I have stay where I am, and face all the memories from the past, before I move on? 

 

Again,  go through all the mistakes and harsh words, wrong acts, reckless thoughts……

 

Why?

 

Who decides where I’m going?  And when?

 

Am I not  the one who has the right to decide the moment is right or wrong?

 

 

Why anyone thinks that he is entitled to play with my traffic lights??

 

I am completely faced and aware with the consequences of what I have done.

 

How long will this purgatory last ?

 

In  eternity? 

 

Too long for me.

 

 

Please,  whoever looks at it all and knows all,

the one who gives himself  the right to decide instead of me,

please, ask him in my name- to let me pass through.

 

 I have suffered enough, and Red is not my color anymore.

 

Trigeminy303