Tuesday, bloody tuesady

When I thought Monday was the blood thirsty day, Tuesday comes up and crash landed on me.

It all began with not hearing my clock alarm, witch was buzzing for approximately 10 minutes, then my cat annoyed by the sound, jumped right onto my chest while I was in bed. I almost had a heart attack. Well, after pleasant waking I realised there’s no more coffee. I can not function without coffee in the morning. Okay. 

Leave that, I’ll grab some coffee on the way to work.

Way to work? Are you fucking kidding me? The road was closed due to some important works on bloody water pipes. 

Leave that, I’ll manage, there’s the other way. Wich was. of course, stacked up by numerous cars whose owners had the same idea. 

I was late for 45 minutes. My chief just grunted, and I was in no mood explaining.

Of course, due to 45 minutes late, number of patient’s waiting to see me grow up.

No need to say how gratitude they showed when I finally arrived . I think I heard some swearing in the background. No problem, I can handle that.

After seeing 20 patients, I felt I could collapse.

Took a coffee, first in this bloody Tuesday, when someone yelled on the hallway “Help! He fainted!”.


Of course, nothing serious happened, just an older man dropped to the floor because of low blood pressure.

There was a lot of other things I had to do, so my coffee was standing still. 

When was time to go home, I looked at the mug with sorrow. Can’t handle cold coffee, so I just left it there.

Car was parked in the sun. Temperature inside was 38 degrees Celsius. Okay, I can handle that. Windows down, air conditioning..the wheel was so hot I couldn’t touch it.

On  my way home, one beautiful Mercedes AMG, decided to stop in the middle of the road with no apparent reason. He just…stoppped. Driving behind him, I stopped an inch avoiding the crash. All the lights on my board started flashing…ABS, ESP, wtf I don’t know, maybe PMS also..

Okay, I thought nothing happened, I’m alive, car is intact. 

But Mercedes had no intention to move. I was stuck.. again. Couldn’t go back, behind me a bunch of cars, in front of me, in an inch distance AMG.

It took 10 minutes so the situation was cleared. I stopped driving by Mercedes and asked  the driver : “WTF is wrong with you?”,and he answered calmly , “Oh, my GPS showed me the wrong direction, so I didn’t know what to do…”. ” Are you fucking kidding me?!”, I replied. The guy stared at me as I was some lunatic. “You are a moron, an idiot, and you should return your drivers license, because you are a threat on the road, you moron!!!!”  He said “I’ll call the police for threatening me!”” O fuck. I lost control. “Call them you monkey, I almost crashed into you because your inability to drive!”. “Oh”, he said, ” I didn’t realized it was such a problem….”

I counted from ten backwards, just not to get out of the car and slap him in the middle of the face

I can handle that..I can handle, repeated to myself..

I got home.

Felt like crap.

And then, for the firs time in this bloody Tuesday, I had some coffee. 

Universe didn’t collapsed, but I wish it was.It would be much less hurtless



The World As It Is

I am great, I am fine

I’m not losing my mind.
It left me a few years ago.
And struggling without it in the world I know,
Is a fight that never ends.

No beginning, no story to catch,
Just me on my night watch.

And who the fuck are You- to judge me?

When your own excuses annoy me,
Giving you the right to be the moral judge,
In the same time you’re doing nothing right,
Just giving yourself to the world as it is,
The wrong, the immoral and unblessed as well.

So walk away and leave me alone,
My decisions are all my own.

You are also not able to do anything right, because this world is all upside down.

With nothing to give and all to take,
Just plane misery when you awake.
Choose a path, don’t get me wrong,
Stay in the herd or leave it alone.

Finally, I have my head clear, my soul was always intact.
My mind is on the call, awaiting an attack.
Because there’s no one to understand, give or feel,
Just you and me, my sweetie,
There’s nothing else real.

I don’t have to pretend like you do,
My own statements break down the wall, while you sit and wait to be accused, and for your own words sued.

So be it, like it is meant to be.
That means to be free or follow the messy crowd.

The rumor of the heard is breaking you down.
Well piglets,
I’d rather be Myself then be like You.

I’m not giving anyone my soul, and remember, I will never ever follow You.