Tuesday, bloody tuesady

When I thought Monday was the blood thirsty day, Tuesday comes up and crash landed on me.

It all began with not hearing my clock alarm, witch was buzzing for approximately 10 minutes, then my cat annoyed by the sound, jumped right onto my chest while I was in bed. I almost had a heart attack. Well, after pleasant waking I realised there’s no more coffee. I can not function without coffee in the morning. Okay. 

Leave that, I’ll grab some coffee on the way to work.

Way to work? Are you fucking kidding me? The road was closed due to some important works on bloody water pipes. 

Leave that, I’ll manage, there’s the other way. Wich was. of course, stacked up by numerous cars whose owners had the same idea. 

I was late for 45 minutes. My chief just grunted, and I was in no mood explaining.

Of course, due to 45 minutes late, number of patient’s waiting to see me grow up.

No need to say how gratitude they showed when I finally arrived . I think I heard some swearing in the background. No problem, I can handle that.

After seeing 20 patients, I felt I could collapse.

Took a coffee, first in this bloody Tuesday, when someone yelled on the hallway “Help! He fainted!”.


Of course, nothing serious happened, just an older man dropped to the floor because of low blood pressure.

There was a lot of other things I had to do, so my coffee was standing still. 

When was time to go home, I looked at the mug with sorrow. Can’t handle cold coffee, so I just left it there.

Car was parked in the sun. Temperature inside was 38 degrees Celsius. Okay, I can handle that. Windows down, air conditioning..the wheel was so hot I couldn’t touch it.

On  my way home, one beautiful Mercedes AMG, decided to stop in the middle of the road with no apparent reason. He just…stoppped. Driving behind him, I stopped an inch avoiding the crash. All the lights on my board started flashing…ABS, ESP, wtf I don’t know, maybe PMS also..

Okay, I thought nothing happened, I’m alive, car is intact. 

But Mercedes had no intention to move. I was stuck.. again. Couldn’t go back, behind me a bunch of cars, in front of me, in an inch distance AMG.

It took 10 minutes so the situation was cleared. I stopped driving by Mercedes and asked  the driver : “WTF is wrong with you?”,and he answered calmly , “Oh, my GPS showed me the wrong direction, so I didn’t know what to do…”. ” Are you fucking kidding me?!”, I replied. The guy stared at me as I was some lunatic. “You are a moron, an idiot, and you should return your drivers license, because you are a threat on the road, you moron!!!!”  He said “I’ll call the police for threatening me!”” O fuck. I lost control. “Call them you monkey, I almost crashed into you because your inability to drive!”. “Oh”, he said, ” I didn’t realized it was such a problem….”

I counted from ten backwards, just not to get out of the car and slap him in the middle of the face

I can handle that..I can handle, repeated to myself..

I got home.

Felt like crap.

And then, for the firs time in this bloody Tuesday, I had some coffee. 

Universe didn’t collapsed, but I wish it was.It would be much less hurtless



Black road travelled in the night

Black road travelled in the night

Not mine photo. Too bad, because it is perfect.
It represents everything in my mind, colourless, empty, leading…somewhere.

I dream of driving full speed on a road like that, feeling free of everything that surrounds me at this very moment.
I don’t need companion, never had or nedeed one in fact.
I used to be alone, learned to speak with myself and make my own decisions.
Only thing that’s missing is a someone with who I can share a beautiful, hot mug of freshly made coffee in the moment of a sunrise in the end of the road
In silence.
No words nedeed.
Free open space. coffee taste, sun on the horizon appearing in a slight, yet visible form, touching my face.
Reminding me that, I am, in fact still alive.
Because, when travelling the black road, alone, you lose a sense of yourself.
As if nothing exists but blackness and speed.

Find yourself. Travel the black road. Bring a companion if you like. Or lose yourself in the perfection of the moment.

Wherever you are going, you’re always find your way back home.

And to yourself.

Trigeminy 303

Last night behind the wheel

I couldn’t resist, it was almost full moon, warm summer evening. I sat in the car and drove.
Just drove true the night. Music loud, windows down, feeling of freedom and that special scent of summer night.
Mixture of fresh grass, asphalt, ozone after rain, and gasoline.

Me and my car, one entity, driving and exploring, leaving the world behind.
Thoughts, emotions, blended into one bubble that would never burst.

I stopped by some unknown woods, and there was that meadow, barely seen through the dark.
I left the car, and sat down on the grass, slightly wet from afternoon rain, just catching the moment,and wishing it would never end. Moon above me, stars, no cloud in the dark skies above me, not even one.

And then, there it came. Two falling meteors, one following the other.

I laughed, echoing in the surrounding silence, and thought about making a wish, but why?
I had everything I needed in that perfect frozen time moment.

Only one thing remained empty. The place beside me.
The person with I could share the moment stolen from time.
No regrets, though.
If it should be empty, then be it.

I leaved all of it, driving back to the familiar roads.
But my mind stayed there, like in the movie that would stay forever imprinted, with no subtitles, no ending, and with no beginning.